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07 January 2008 @ 04:53 pm
So, unlike normal schools, at Princeton we have our finals after break.

This is not a good thing.

Oh sure, it allows us extra time for studying over Christmas break and it means that our exam period isn't crushed into December, but really? No one does their work over break. Unless it's due right after break. And only some of us.

This would not be me. I wrote my entire junior project last night and this morning. Luckily, mine only had to be 1/3 of the length of everyone else's (maximum 8 pages, I wrote 7 and a bit), but it still didn't help that I had done no research during Christmas break. Why? Because I am a lazy, terrible worker.

This also means that my months of January will be pure and utter chaos until the 21st. This is what my schedule looks like:

Jan. 10 - Final Paper for PSY 420 due (8 pages)
Jan. 15 - Final Paper for PSY 308 (10 pages)
Jan. 16 - Final Exam for PSY 303
Jan. 18 - Final Exam for ENV
Jan. 21 - Final Project due for English (15 pages)
Jan. 22 - collapse

03 January 2008 @ 10:21 pm
So in case you haven't noticed, I put up a new layout! Mostly because my old one crapped out on Safari, and looked quite horrible. So I went for something a bit simpler.

What's that you say? Why would I be using Safari? Because I have a new Mac laptop, silly! I got a Macbook Pro for Christmas, and it is ever so shiny and pretty and I will hug it and pet it and call it George.

So anyways, here I am, it's 2008, and I am already breaking my one of my New Year's resolutions by procrastinating on my junior paper.

So here are my New Year's resolutions:

1. GET YO SHIT TOGETHER. That is my theme for 2008. 2007 was just a mess of lack of motivation, laziness, and drama and I need to stop. This heading includes all the usual New Year's resolutions - being more diligent and putting more effort into schoolwork, exercising more, eating healthier, staying away from the internet, getting started on internship applications and summer program applications, meeting new people, and stopping feeling sorry for myself.

2. STAY SANE. This is important, as 2007 had me not doing this. A lot.

3. BE HAPPY, GODDAMMIT. See above.

4. SHAKE IT OFF. (Why yes, this DID come from the Mariah Carey song that was playing at midnight on Dick Clark's Christmas Special hosted by Ryan Seacrest. Why do you ask?) I mean granted, I don't know if you can tell much from this journal, but I tend to dwell on problems. Oh, I won't talk about it, but I don't forget easily. I spent a lot of time last year brooding and moping. So all my issues and problems from 2007? I'm not going to let them bother me. This is probably going to be hard, as many of these issues still exist (and started towards the end of the year, no less), but it goes along with #2 - if I can't let go, I'll just drive myself crazy.

So yeah, there they are.

Hmm, so what have I been doing lately? Weddings on both Christmas Day and New Year's Eve were bummers, but drunk phone calls from my best friends were not. Buying Christmas presents for people (P.S. I am almost broke). Most of my winter break has been spent thinking quietly. Listening to lots of new music. Lately I've gone on a minimalist techno kick, to go along with the quiet thinking. I love the soft repetitiveness of the music, how it allows my mind to drift without taking my attention off the music. I was reading a few year-end lists on my music blog rolls and I discovered a few new bands in this genre that caught my attention, most notably Gui Boratto's Chromophobia, The Field's From Here We Go Sublime, and Burial's Untrue.

Gui Boratto - Beautiful Life

The Field - The Little Heart Beats So Fast

Burial - Ghost Hardware

I've also become a fan of Susumu Yokata; while the album that this song comes from was released in 2002, it's still gorgeous ambient electronica. It perfectly melds electronic echoing and distortion with organic percussion.

Suzumu Yokata - Grass, Tree, and Stone

Lately I've been quite obsessed with the music of Beirut, a band headed by 21-year-old Zach Condon from New Mexico. And by lately, I mostly mean the past 24 hours.

If I had to describe what Beirut's music sounded like, I would say it sounded like a wedding in the Balkan mountains. Or a balloon ride in France in 1890. Or a waltz in the middle of Spain. Beirut's music is strangely exotic, evoking a weariness and worldliness that comes with believing you have traveled the world, seen all that there is to see and experienced all that there is to experience and come back home only to find disappointment. His voice sounds old and it wails, longing for the days when sailors would leave their lovers for the sea or gypsies came to give fortunes in every town, days that he has never experienced. And yet, none of it seems twee and forced. It all sounds like the incredibly sincere, heartfelt pleas of both youth and old age. Each instrument that you hear seems to evoke a different emotion, from the wistfulness of the ukulele to the mourning of the trumpet to the whimsy of the accordion.

Anyways, I've been listening to his latest album, The Flying Cup Club, on and off since I saw the band live at the beginning of this year. By the way, they put on an amazing show - as I told my cousin, "Beirut is amazing and life-changing live and it makes you want to do the waltz in the middle of a crowd (even if the lead singer is a bit drunk)." But lately I've become obsessed with songs about sorrow, and Beirut is quite well-versed on the subject.

Below are two songs; you can say the second one is a sort of sequel to the first. "Nantes" is an upbeat, tropical-sounding song about regret for what never was and what never happened. "Cherbourg", on the other hand, is a sweeping waltz about recovery and maybe denial, about trying to convince yourself that you've moved on. Both of them have the same haunting refrain: "It's been a long time/Since I've seen you smile/And I'll gamble away my fright."

09 December 2007 @ 05:58 pm
This is probably one of my favorite PostSecret posts ever, but that's because I am a massive, sentimental dork:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
02 December 2007 @ 12:17 pm
I love first snow. I love winter in December. The snow just cleanses everything away, makes me want to start anew.

This is the view from my bedroom window.

Current Music: Sigur Ros - Agaetis Byrjun
27 November 2007 @ 05:22 am
Here's a list of things I want for Christmas:

This poster of Cuba. Or a Cuban vacation. Or a Cuban cigar. Or a Cuban sandwich.

Mmmm. Sandwich.
20 September 2007 @ 09:53 pm
Jesus Christ, this sounds like an Onion article.

Anacondas (note: this is the sequel to Anaconda)
Walking Tall
Scooby Doo 2
Bulletproof Monk
Batman and Robin (note: this is not accompanied whatsoever with any other Batman movies)
Godzilla (the remake)
Tomb Raider
Tomb Raider 2
Maid in Manhattan
The Wedding Planner
Christmas With the Kranks
Deep Blue Sea
The Scorpion King
Aeon Flux
Barbershop 2
Freddy vs. Jason
National Treasure
XXX: State of the Union (sequel to XXX)
Mortal Kombat (the movie)
The Time Machine
Cheaper by the Dozen
Blue Crush

With the exception of Cheaper by the Dozen and Blue Crush (which were purchased by my mom), and Freddy vs. Jason and Mortal Kombat (which were purchased by my brother), all of these were purchased by my dad.

My dad's not allowed to buy DVDs anymore.
02 May 2007 @ 01:48 pm

So cute! I want! (I only wish they came in black, and of course $300 off the price tag.)

*sigh* Back to studying.
30 April 2007 @ 12:26 am
You know, I miss having a crush a little bit.

Now, I haven't had a real, true crush for a really long time. I've had frushes. Frushes suck. Frushes are when you think you have a crush on a friend, but really they're just a really awesome person you want to spend all your time with, but you don't realize it because you're stupid/drunk/hormonally imbalanced/whatever.

But the crush...oh, the fluttering excitement that came with the crush. You know, when you'd see him (or think you saw him), and your stomach jumped just a few feet. Or whenever you brushed against him, your skin would tingle just a little bit in that spot. And then you couldn't wait until the next time you saw him or you just FELT that your heart would burst. You were obsessed with the crush, all your thoughts eventually led to him, fantasizing about that day when he finally realized he liked you too! And oh, what a day that would be, because then you could go on the long-awaited romantic dinners, sharing each others' drinks, or maybe spending the day at the beach pushing each other into the sand, or simply cuddling in each others' arms (or doing something more). Every time he was in the room I would smile more, giggle more, take every opportunity to look at him and drink him in.

It sometimes feels that life had so much more meaning back then. Every day was spent looking forward to the crush. And every day was spent in excitement, nothing else really mattered, and I had that final goal of making him mine. I miss the fantasy*.

But I've killed all my crushes now**. Killing a crush is hard the first time, but it gets easier with practice. Sometimes it just involves not contacting him anymore - maybe you move away, or he moves away, and you miss him for a while but then you eventually move on and forget him. Sometimes it involves opening your eyes and realizing the fact that he is, in reality, not a great person. And sometimes (the most painful one) is realizing that no matter how good of a person he is, he will not like you, never like you in the same way that you do him.

When you become cynical, it becomes so much easier to have to avoid that painful process. You raise your standards, make yourself a little bit hard so that no one can worm their way into your heart. Rejection? What's that? None of that ish over here! Sure, there are random objects of lust, guys who you think are cute, guys who you want to hook up with, and kickass guy friends, and guys that, when you think about it, hey, they really WOULD make a good boyfriend. But none of magic that came with the crush. You see your friends have crushes, you join in their happiness, you relate because you remember what it felt like. But you stay left behind, preferring to rationalize how much BETTER the single life is, and who needs that drama anyways, and...

Now, I'm not saying that a person has to have a crush to live a meaningful life. But I miss the amazing highs that came with having one, even if it meant having to deal with the lowest of the lows. Not having a crush also means having to actually focus on life, on people's craziness and flaws, and having no distractions, rather than escaping into my fantasy world.

Man, it's tough not having a crush.

*Not those fantasies, you pervs.
**Not literally...OR IS IT?